another 21.1 down/learning about myself/the snow

Well. Well. Well.

I had some feelings about this race - beforehand. My children were sick from Wednesday on with a nice stuffy nose and cough, sore throats. I held most of it at bay with Cold FX but wasn't feeling 'on'. I also did not do any running after Sunday last week. I was supposed to get in a 10km but was unable to motivate myself.

The weather. Yes. Was sorta yucky. We lucked out with lots of sunshine this morning... but there was enough snow to make up for the sky.

I met with friends at BP's last night. They were doing the run... Doug was confident and encouraging, Deb was feeling she couldn't do it. I'm a bit over the top with superstition and never say I won't do it - I'm afraid that my words will come true.

I decided I would run with Deb and help her get to the finish - and in that decision further realised that I am not that great at running with other people.

We started out alright. I was running with Lisa and Deb. We started out at a 6:50 pace and fluctuated to 7:30 and back down to 6:50. Right on target with our goals (or my goals?) at 5K we were at 35 minutes. I was ready to settle in to the rest of the run when Deb said she couldn't handle the hills. I didn't really see hills but saw some bumps and I really really tried to encourage her. She started walking when we were shy of 10K and I looked at my watch - any goals I had were pretty much out the window. Lisa went on to run her race and I told Deb I would stay with her. So when a hill came Deb would walk and I couldn't bring myself to walk on them. This is where I was worried I was going to lose a friend. I would say "think of Emily Murphy - think of how many times you ran up and down that hill" and "this is NOTHING! come on Deb!! Keep going!!" but it didn't work. She became silent. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was frustrating her and not helping. I kept going ahead. All this worry tired me out.

At this point the footing started to bother me. My legs were tired - I was reaching 14 K and I felt emotionally and physically drained. I looked at my Garmin and really didn't think I would make it under 3 hours.

I had some nice moments before 16K where I felt strong - again the footing would get sloppy and I was not happy with that.

Deb was no longer in sight and I felt shitty about that.

I finally got to the finish at 2:40. Proud of myself for finishing. Not disappointed in anything other than my ability to stay with Deb. She came in behind at 2:42 - not far at all! We hugged and I think all is ok. I hope so - it's so hard to tell.

I enjoyed the post-race brunch and my hubby was there. He's an amazing support - just awesome.

I now want to try a marathon. Yeah. Because as hard as it was... the adrenaline after was simply fantastic.