celebration

I did Coronation. I had a very good time (as in I enjoyed myself). I had a pretty good time clock-wise. I'll take the PB where I can get it, though my run was slower.

When I was describing the race to a friend today they said it sounded almost like a 'religious experience'. Well for anyone who has become involved in multi-sport I'm sure they'll agree there is something cosmic and magical about racing.

As for celebrating, well, I've been quite reflective since the race and have been thinking about 2006, 2007 and now 2008. If you've been following at all you would have noticed that I hardly blogged in 2007. I lost my momentum and I lost myself a bit too. I was also fighting depression and trying to come to terms with who I am and who I will be in life. I wrote on a private forum that last year, around this time, I was afraid to park in the garage. I was afraid of myself. I was afraid of my thoughts.

This year I celebrate that I am not afraid of myself. I am proud of myself. I am feeding myself good foods, am keeping to my training plan unless I feel sick or run down. I am only really afraid of climbing and descending big hills on my bike, of not being able to go fast enough when I need or want to, of getting swum overtop of in the open water but all these things that I am afraid of - do not compare to being afraid of your thoughts of ending your own life.

From the top of this blog, I am reminded:

When you go for it 100%, when you don’t have the fear of “what if I fail”, that’s when you learn. That’s when you’re really living.

I choose to live. I choose to compete in triathlon and to continue to develop my athleticsm and to nurture my competitive drive. That's reason enough for celebration!