Monday, November 03, 2008

who am i

I'm a bit down right now. I've been fighting off a chest cold and feeling run down for 2 weeks straight now. It's getting the best of me when I cannot fall asleep at night because of the coughing. Or I wake up and cough myself back to sleep.

I started a paper route to help me with ironman this year. When I add up the costs of training weekends, equipment, travel and so on it seems a little overwhelming. The paper route seems to be going well. I wake up at 3 or 3:30 am and run for 2 hours and then I'm done. Once this cold goes away I'll be able to work my swim schedule in after papers. Right now I'm just coming home and warming up in a bath and hitting the hay as soon as a quiet moment presents itself.

Lately while running around in the morning a lot of doubts have started to creep up. Most of the time I feel a bit awkward in my body and I've been feeling pretty down about myself in general the past week. Things going on emotionally surely aren't helping me to get better physically and I need to break out of this cycle.

But who am I to imagine I could do this? It's what I'm struggling with right now.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You amaze us - a paper route? at that time in the morning it must be very quiet - the silence must be a great time for thinking and for non-thinking - the zen buddhist thing.

And you don't need us to tell you that imagining you can do it is important. We don't just imagine it, we know you can do whatever you choose to do. You have done that already.

We have already blocked off the end of August and will be there as you cross that finish line.

Sonia said...

I hope you've considered going to the doctor this isn't just a normal chest cold if it stays that long!

You're going to be in kickass shape with running 2h per day with a tons of newspaper, good idea to get you out the door early, exercising and earning some money.

Hope you feel better soon Jordan.

Jordan said...

Dad - it is very quiet at that time. The stars are out and the air seems way too fresh to believe. Thank you for your support it means so much to me.

Sonia - thanks girl, I'm gonna go to the doctor today. I have to stop eating like I'm running two hours every morning. Halloween treats be GONE!