Awakening

Swirling around me go the thoughts, the reminders, the grounding I need.

Family
The boys, John. They are my rock. I backed out of a training weekend in Penticton this weekend because (mainly) of my boys. They have been gone this week with my mother and every day I miss them so much my heart aches when I go to bed at night. Being away and not there for them on their first day of summer camp this year was far too much to bare. I see in John the toll all the training is taking. My training schedule moves from - "learning to endure" - to "final prep" and it's in these moments I can look back and truly reflect on everyone's sacrifice. Huge. This will not be my accomplishment alone.

Friends
I've been thinking lately about the social networking sites and how they've led me down a path of delusion. My friend and fellow blogger, Hope, recently quit facebook. She discovered how truly attached we are to this electronic pulse when friends around her no longer knew if they were her friends! haha... isn't this funny? My friends list is at 164 but my true friends are countable on one hand. And I look forward to reacquainting myself with true friendship when my schedule opens up again. With a promise to myself to recognize and grow those who have been honest, inspiring, loving and real. A promise to myself to write that letter to Ella, to send a card to Cathy, to follow through with that challenge with Kerry (and drink wine and laugh at ourselves again).

Illusion
Ironman is a big illusion. Smoke and mirrors. It will be what I make of it on the day. I have, in earnest, recognized that this is a hyped up event marketed at our egos. Don't get me wrong. I'm REALLY looking forward to this day. But I recognize it for what it is. I want my piece of the ego pie - but I've discovered it's not the way to happiness... I'm pretty sure I hadn't set out to find my happiness in ONE RACE but I have noticed along the way how I get sucked back in again and again to making it into more than it really is. If I am successful it will be : my biggest sporting achievement to date. But I will not be defined by it.


Forward movement
I'm excited to say I'm in some early development on bringing a program to Edmonton that follows my philosophy. Sport can cure your mind. You'll have to keep reading to see if it happens.

Thanks for reading, happy training!