Saturday, May 24, 2008

Failures

Well hello. It's Saturday night. My transition box is set up. John is watching a dumb movie on tv. I'm trying to unwind and prepare mentally for tomorrow.

Woody's was awful.

My sunburn was so bad I shouldn't have even attempted the race. My back had second degree burns yet I managed to pull a sports bra over the burns. John and I had barely slept (maybe 3 hours) because of the children's needs and our own tired fights.

At the 2km marker John and I walked off the course.

I went back to my mother's house cried a bit on the couch and had an hour nap.

Because my back was so raw and blistered I managed only to get in two bikes and one swim this week. The second bike was today and my rear wheel came loose. I lost all my confidence in the equipment failure. I was tense anyway on the bike - but this little ripple made shockwaves through my core.

I have a slight cold. Nothing horrible, stuffed up a bit, sore throat, run down. Racing tomorrow. I fixed the rear wheel with John's help. One of the set screws was out a bit so the wheel was rubbing the frame. I replaced my cleats since the rubber was all chewed up. I know not what else to tell you.

My inner voices are conflicted. I'm struggling against my fears and insecurities. I'm emotional.

Off to the bath. I'm thankful I have a place to vent - now I must let go and just be free to do my best.

2 comments:

Kerry said...

I hope you feel better after finishing Coronation!!!! Those challenges that we feel we can't do are the ones that boost us up and make us believe that we can do more than we think possible!

I'm sure we'll be hitting the road again on Satuday.

Jordan said...

I'm so glad you were there at the finish Kerry. Thanks for being an inspiration and friend.