Failures

Well hello. It's Saturday night. My transition box is set up. John is watching a dumb movie on tv. I'm trying to unwind and prepare mentally for tomorrow.

Woody's was awful.

My sunburn was so bad I shouldn't have even attempted the race. My back had second degree burns yet I managed to pull a sports bra over the burns. John and I had barely slept (maybe 3 hours) because of the children's needs and our own tired fights.

At the 2km marker John and I walked off the course.

I went back to my mother's house cried a bit on the couch and had an hour nap.

Because my back was so raw and blistered I managed only to get in two bikes and one swim this week. The second bike was today and my rear wheel came loose. I lost all my confidence in the equipment failure. I was tense anyway on the bike - but this little ripple made shockwaves through my core.

I have a slight cold. Nothing horrible, stuffed up a bit, sore throat, run down. Racing tomorrow. I fixed the rear wheel with John's help. One of the set screws was out a bit so the wheel was rubbing the frame. I replaced my cleats since the rubber was all chewed up. I know not what else to tell you.

My inner voices are conflicted. I'm struggling against my fears and insecurities. I'm emotional.

Off to the bath. I'm thankful I have a place to vent - now I must let go and just be free to do my best.