some sort of race report

I suppose I shoud write some sort of 'race report' heh.

Well I got it done. Slow but sure. I knew starting out that day that I would finish. I knew that I would stay mindful of my goal and I hoped to remain uninjured. The marathon day seemed to hold a powerful lesson for me and that was to be true to myself and to be assertive.

true to myself
At one point I ran up to a woman who had just been cheered on by her family and was walking and, it seemed, almost in tears. As I caught up to her I asked her if everything was ok. We were at about 16 km's and she said she'd hit the wall. She was worried she was going to be last. We talked a little about our training and ran down a hill together before taking a walk break. I introduced myself and I learned her name, Delaina. We ran for a bit together. I practiced silence mostly, since I know that sometimes when people are struggling I tend to say the wrong thing (and I really don't mean to) I kept running along and I think she must have kept me in her sight (she finished about 10 minutes behind me). I saw her at one turn around point and gave her a big hug. She wasn't last and she'd made it past 32 km's. I'm sure she knew then she could keep going and finishing was all that counted.

assertive
Another person I met was, well, interesting. I caught up to him and said hi, it looked like he'd done this before. He had done 60+ marathons and eventually told me he was going for some kind of record of consecutive marathons in Alberta. At first he was very nice with some good 'get er done' advice. Then he became a little too much. Telling me when to walk. Telling me what to eat and drink? weird. I was so relieved to see John so I could just run away from this man. I need to find a way to not let myself be sucked into situations like this.

The last half was a bit of a blur. Great up to 30kms and still on track for a 5 hour marathon. Then the push to race fell away and I just enjoyed (John would say I crabbed through the last bit) the last kilometers and finishing my first marathon.

My time may even be comical but I am laughing for another reason: I feel great :0)

Another important thing to me was to have my head shaved and to run in memory of Spencer. I did both those things and I am proud of myself for having the courage to finish what I started. There were moments when I wondered why I was doing this and felt alone. I feel totally bare without my hair and strangers either look at me with confusion or pity but I know deep down what it's about. And it's enough of a private journey that those who are close to me understand as well.

Be strong
Be brave
Keep going
Never give up

In peace,
me